So i got to the point of feeling ok about 3 and ½ months and thought i am going to try and keep up with the SUP training group this morning in the flat Water. YEW! I was pumped, still can’t bend my knee but hey i was feeling ok and wanted to try and push myself to paddle harder and keep up with them. Well for the first 4km out of a 9km training paddle i was doing just that!!! WHAT i was spent but i was hanging on!! HELL YEH i am Back baby!!! I can do this. In my head i am already thinking so Carolina Cup is in like 9 weeks, i can do this!! Will send my coach Boothy a message and tell him when i get back in from this training run. I am back!!!
THEN!! cos i was sweaty as (and loving this fact) my hand slipped in the sweat and came off the top of my paddle. I fell Forward on my board and without even thinking i put my crap foot forward to catch myself and stop myself falling into the water. OOPPPSSSSS! OUCH!! That hurt!!! But then i stopped for a few minutes and lost the group. It hurt but was ok, so turned around with my tail in between my legs and paddled slowly back home. I was devastated in the fact i did this! I was like a lost puppy dog again heading home, head down and sooking. DAMN IT! I am not Back! F**K! Here i am just over 3 months and i still can’t paddle or keep up! Tears are shed yet again but i paddle home just waiting for the others to catch back up and over take me. As they do…
This is where things go wrong… the next day i can’t even put my Foot down!! WTF have i done! It’s so sore. My head hurts! I call my Physio (Josh he is frekin awesome) he said put boot back on asap and take weight off it please, oh and also let’s stop SUP Paddling again hey! WHAT NO!!! But i knew this had to be done. This was like my fellow injured friend and athlete (Annabel Anderson) says to me, we go forwards and backwards with these injuries, its apart of the journey. Annabel herself is also in the naughty corner with serious injury recovery mode. Boot came off 1 week later and back in shoes but i was struggling. Go to Physio and not even Josh can budge this foot, it’s almost Stuck in a lock position. I can’t walk on it, it’s like my recovery went backwards 4 weeks. I don’t like going backwards.
Don’t get me wrong by this time i am Ocean Swimming 2 - 3km / 3 times per week and also getting my fitness back on my stationary bike sessions 3 times per week. I got serious and changed my Diet and watched every single Marcos i put in my mouth. So since 3 Month mark to 4 month mark i lost 2 kg and actually started feeling really good with my fitness level. As an athlete i pretty much got to the point of i don’t care this is what i know i can do and this is what i have to do.
Back to Hospital for Surgeon check up and meet at 4 month mark. Walked into check up with shoes on and 1 crutch, limping of course. HMMMMM lots of chit chat but then i get rushed into new Scans cos i the concern it’s so tight, it is Sore and i slipped. 5 hours later done and i get told to come back in 1 week for results. Meanwhile Physio keeps getting done.
Finally D day at 4 months and 2 weeks now, this takes me to 30th January 2019! Yep over 4 months and still walking with limp (I can at times Walk pretty good by the way) or Stand Up paddling good enough to even get my Heart Rate above Zone 2. LAME!!! Appointment time. I get results and get to talk face to face to the Best foot surgeon on the Gold Coast! Did i get to hear what i want to hear? YES and NO.
So this is now where i am at 18 weeks post op. My Anchor points are great and strong! YEW good news you say. My Calf muscle is tiny and has shrunk, not so good. My Achilles tendon itself looks Weak and very Fibrous, this is not good news. My surgeon tells me i have a catch 22 situation, i have to really stretch the Calf muscle out but my tendon is weak looking! So what to do you ask? Well i have no idea really either. My Surgeon has given me and my Physio another 4 weeks to try and get it fixed. D - day 27th February. (takes me just over 5 months)
There have been moments were i have wanted to Punch people in the Face, i know they are only trying to help but i don’t care about the time you had a boot on for 6 weeks mate or that time you injured for 1 month. Talk to me after 4 months and see how your going! Selfish maybe but it’s real. In all this i still thank my lucky stars as i do see other people worse off than me, i still have 2 legs. Or i had an older lovely gentleman talk to me the other day whilst i had to sit down and have a rest walking into the bank, he proceeded to tell me about when he had a Foot ulcer and he couldn’t walk for 2 weeks and how he was so hard done by (That was my i wanna punch you in the face moment)
My journey with this Stupid injury continues. What will happen? I don’t know. There are more surgeries? I don’t know that either, possible. Will i even make 1 Elite SUP race this race? I don’t know.
One thing i do know, is that i am not giving up! My Diet is Good, i am feeling semi fit again, so i am giving myself the best opportunity to get on top of this. I am also an adventure Girl and know that my Favourite time Running and Hiking spent each year in Hood River Oregon and Squamish BC may not happen at a fast pace for 2019, more like a woddle or shuffle but l do not want to give up on the fact l will be there.